Have you ever come home from a long, tiring, frustrating day at work to find dirty dishes and messy counters all over the kitchen? Maybe stinky trash too? What's the first thing that comes to mind? WHY??? "Why am I the only one who sees the need to clean this mess up?" "Why am I the only one who EVER does dishes around here?" " No one ever just does the dishes on their own!" Do these questions and statements sound familiar? Rest at ease. These questions and statements are key to you gaining insight as to how you are really feeling. When we use words like ever, never, always, only, no one, forever, these are indicators that we are overwhelmed. You can do something about that! Let's play this scenario out a little further... Say you get home and witness this scene, but don't say anything. You hold in the layers of frustration and fatigue so when you come in contact with other family members you are frosty (silent treatment), salty (sarcastic or passively aggressive) or snappy (yells, cutting remarks). You know what I mean; Partner: "Honey how was your day?" you: "Fine."- and you go to your room and shut the door - stonewall; You: "It would be nice if you guys got up from the couch for once and actually cleaned." - salty; Also you: "Hey! Get your lazy butts up and get in here. I'm not cleaning all your mess up again. What's wrong with you?" - snappy. In return, your family members avoid you, defend themselves to you or fight back. Are any of these communication styles bringing peace into your life? Are you feeling the love from your family? Peace Thieves Nothing has more worth than your peace. Peace is a gift from our Savior. Guard it well. John 14:27 "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." There are people, institutions, society and personal habits that will try to tempt you to give your peace to them. Don't fall for it. Don't do it. Here are some examples of peace theives: Social media is ripe with peace thieves from the polarizing PC and political crap, to arguments within the comment section of a post on a friend's wall - leave it alone! Friends who are full of one sided drama and are incapable of compassion towards your needs - peace thief. Bosses who demand and demand with no concern for your personal time, health, nor family - peace thief. Living under a pile of debt because you cannot get yourself to make a budget - peace thief! See those things for what they really are - peace thieves. Seek for uplifting, relaxing, encouraging information and actions to soothe your already over stimulated mind. Guard what you allow to enter your body. I have never watched any of the classic horror movies. I know I have a tendency to absorb feelings and emotions and even though it's make believe, that stuff seeps into my subconscious and messes with me. I do not put that stuff into my mind. Period. I guard what I know I need. Your inner peace evolves from having boundaries around key elements of your life such as social relationships, finances, health, spirituality, family life and career. When any one of these areas gets out of wack, your peace is in jeopardy. Like a car with four tires, if one of the tires is deflated, even though the other three are fully functioning, the car isn't going anywhere efficiently nor safely. No one can guard the gate to your peace like you can...or can you? Do you need help setting boundaries? Do you find yourself taking on more and more, then feeling utterly exhausted and frazzled? Do you have a hard time saying no to people? Do you feel like a door mat sometimes? Do you have a tendency to hold onto grudges? Do you have a hard time with forgiveness? Are you easily offended? What happens after years and years of these patterns? What toll do they take from your years on this earth? Your happiness? Snapping Turtle At some point, something is going to give. When feelings of not being enough, or low self worth persist, those feelings bleed into every other area of life and causes all the key elements to get out of wack. Going back to the scenario of stonewalling, being salty or snappy, these reactions aren't you, they are indicators of what is going on behind the scenes in your emotional world. These actions are cries for help, but who wants to cozy up next to the snapping turtle? First of all it's okay. You have permission to be frustrated, frazzled, disappointed, sad, whatever you need to feel. Allow yourself to feel it. Ask yourself, "Would I have been so snappy if: I were getting more sleep?; If I could get home from work at an acceptable time because I want to be with my family?; If I didn't have 5 projects I committed to and don't know why?; If I could talk to my partner and they really listened without trying to fix me?". I could go on and on and I'm sure you probably came up with a few of your own. That's good! Allow yourself to brainstorm what is out of wack in the five key elements and then you can find ways to heal the holes in those areas. Healing the Holes By small and simple means you can repair hurts, mistakes, failures and whatever else you need. Repairing the out of wack areas could look like meal planning so that you're not spending $60 per week on lunch and instead can pay down a credit card that is stressing you. It could look like finding gratitude for the small things even though you feel life has slighted you. It could look like getting that health check up you've been putting off for three years because you're are afraid of what the doctor will tell you. It could look like setting your alarm clock for 6:30am and getting up at 6:30am instead of setting your alarm for 5:45am and hitting snooze until 7:00am then rushing to get to work, still feeling tired. It could look like sitting your family down and explaining you need their help with the dishes and HOW their help affects you. Leave out the guilt or negative comments, simply uplift and encourage. I imagine your family loves you and wants to know how to help, but they also want to feel what they do matters and is appreciated. Setting boundaries is a bigger issue which involves long held beliefs about yourself. This may take some time processing with a therapist, journaling, pondering or speaking with another trusted person in your life. Boundaries are good. They are necessary for safety. You can do it, I have faith in you. Have faith in yourself. You wouldn't just start driving, willy nilly, on any side of the road to get to where you need to go. You follow the boundaries of the lanes. They keep you from crashing into oncoming traffic. They keep you safe. Such is setting personal and professional boundaries. Boundaries help you from feeling overwhelmed. Boundaries help you make decisions from a clear, confident mind. Boundaries help you have order in your life. Be the gatekeeper of your peace. No one can repay the price of your peace. Foster your peace, nurture your peace, protect your peace, and you will have peace.